Located at 78th and Biscayne, Wonderland is perhaps the easiest club to get to if you live in Miami proper.
The thing about this venue, currently dubbed “Wonderland,” is that it’s been a strip club since the cocaine cowboys days.
(Miami News ad from 1981 for the pussy palace that is now Wonderland.)
And for the last several years, it’s changed hands and names more times than I can remember. It’s a new goddamn club every few months. In it’s last incarnation, it was some sort of sports strip club. The club is upscale-ish. Parking is $5, and cover is $20…even for girls. Drinks are pricey but pours are generous. And bitches are pretty hot.
There are two stages on the main floor. There’s an overflow floor staggered lower for busier times. Security abounds.
I’m torn over this place. I initially flipped upon discovering that dancers aren’t fully nude…topless only. In Miami…in the actual incorporated City of Miami, where, mere blocks away, strippers at Take 1 Lounge are grinding their bare private areas against the grossest people the county has to offer. It just doesn’t make any goddamn sense, particularly for a club boasting a $20 cover.
BUT, at around 1am, one of the founders of Reality Kings walked in with five porn sluts, clearly recruiting bitches. And that, my friends, means that Wonderland is like a feeder school…like some shitty Central Florida high school high school, churning out stellar college QBs who subsequently disappoint in the pros. Wonderland churns out fantastic 19 year-old video slamwhores who will be roughed the fuck up by the time they hit 25.
But, you know, I’ll always think warm thoughts about Tim Tebow.
(Side note: Wonderland offers hookahs…something I’ve never seen before in a strip club.)