Note: the following entry was written by an anonymous dude touring Asia’s houses of ill repute.
(Soi Cowboy, Bangkok, Thailand.)
If you’re a fat, balding British sexpat headed to Thailand to fuck the young girls you can’t land at home and probably couldn’t land even in your youth, the sex shows on Soi Cowboy are probably high on your to-do list. Reclining Buddha be damned. Although Soi Cowboy is an exceedingly short street, it is dripping with sleaze, neon marquees and bars whose names were chosen with very thinly veiled innuendo. My buddy, an Australian with no discernable job but an abundance of funds, brought us first to Midnite.
As we entered, three emaciated Thai girls who looked like there were about 13 were fully nude, body painting each other on the main and only stage. Drinks were cheap (it is Thailand,) but served in absurdly small glasses. We got into the drinks quickly, as it’s difficult not to be creeped out by some of the clientele. The worst was a guy who looked like a blonde, pedophilic Andy Warhol. This flagrant sex criminal, in his late 40’s, had a blonde bowl haircut and was wearing sunglasses (inside and at night) with dark yellow tinted frames. I really don’t know how he could have been any more offensive and I’d wager a good amount that there are pieces of several young girls in his freezer.
What the dancers at Midnite lack in stylish outfits and technical proficiency on the pole, they more than make up for in brazen nudity. The main stage alternates between three fully nude girls dancing (more like swaying before contorting themselves into obscene positions), girls doing lesbian shows with oil and soap suds and odd interludes where fully clothed girls in white go-go shorts and cutoff tops crowd the stage by the dozen and just sort of sway back and forth for 10-15 minutes. During the go-go break times I felt like I was at some sort of titty bar in Saigon circa 1966. “Five dollars is all my mother lets me spend on this.” You can take any of the girls upstairs and fuck them if you like, or if you aren’t particularly worried about your valuables being stolen, for a small “bar fine” you can pay to take them home with you. Of all the bars on Soi Cowboy this one had by far the best looking girls. Unfortunately, most of the best looking girls were of the swaying, white shorted, non-nude variety. Don’t worry though. They’re still yours for a price.